Potentially going nowhere
There are lots of potential projects around me at the moment. Not much started, because as always seems to be the case lately, I have something else I need to be doing. But they are still sitting there, being pondered.
I am not quite sure if this is a good thing to be doing or not. You see, I've been quite busy this year, which is great and I've been working on projects that I love, which is fab. But just because my creative calendar is full so to speak, doesn't mean that the old brain stops churning and turning up more ideas.
So, I suppose in an effort to appease this restless brain, I've been contemplating the many 'what if' projects that I could be making. I'm sure it's a problem for a lot of us, no matter what speed we can hook the yarn or slip the stitches, there are always a million more projects that we could be making and don't have time for. We can't make everything at once after all. I suppose this is why so many of us have a whole host of wip's we'd rather no-one found out about!
My problem is not so much about the starting and not finishing. In my abject fear of never finishing anything, I have very rarely ever let myself not finish once I have begun. Instead I make endless lists of ideas and pull out piles of yarn for projects that may never actually come to be. Which, at the time, I feel is good for 'getting it out of my system' and then leaving me free I return to whatever it is I really should be doing.
But you know, I'm not so sure it's working. Instead those lists sit in notebooks, on my phone and on To Do lists, waiting patiently and usually never ever crossed off. The piles of yarn stop being a pleasing sight of gorgeous colours and start becoming clutter and mess. After a while all of them seem to be accusing me of not working faster, not getting more done, never getting around to 'that' project.
And so I clear the piles away, I start new lists, I refresh and declutter the creative mind so I have a nice, clean slate... for a while. I'm not quite sure why this cycle continues, or even if it's a good or bad thing? Maybe it is just the way I am.
But, is it just me? What do you do?
One day I keep thinking it will be different, I'll have more time, or I shall be less in a rush, I shall work through the list and be satisfied to just do one thing completely before moving to the next. Calmly, without guilt, without adding a million other things to the list before I finish the first.
'Yes, one day', I think, that's how it will be.
But you know what, I'm beginning to think that day may never arrive.